Ya, Like I Know

Choices x Time= LIFE

2009-10-10T21:33:00.009-05:00

I am currently...between jobs. As an actress I feel like all I ever am is between jobs. But right now I really don't have a steady income from anywhere. For real unemployed.

Maybe it's the recession, maybe its that I'm getting older, maybe it's a combo of the two, but I'm beginning to feel a strong need to have some kind of stable "9-5." I need to be a grown up and have some nice things! I need to go the dentist. I need to pay some bills. I need to not be worried at the end of every month. I need a savings account. I need some assets. Things that all seemed over rated at 22 seem necessary at 25.

So I've been applying for some 9-5s. Lots of companies are hiring in Sales right now...probably because they're trying to help their sales from continuing to plummet.
I had one interview last week for such sales job. But it felt a little more like a divine appointment.

I was interviewed by Ed. This was a group interview. We received a powerpoint presentation on the job and then were sent to the lobby to be called in one by one and assigned to one of the ten managers present to interview with. The interviewer sits on one side of the table. The interviewee on the other. Walking through the room everyone looked stiff. The interviewers peering skeptically down at resumes, the interviewees sitting on the edge of their chairs looking like a puppy on their hind legs for a dog treat. Must I take this position as the interview right now? Ug.

And I just happened (or not just happened...after all, there are no coincidences, right?) to be assigned to Ed. I tried to remain back in my seat and relaxed as Ed peered down at my resume and asked me bullet point by bullet point all the required interview questions, "What are your strengths? What was a time you closed a tough sale? Where do you see yourself in five years?" etc, etc...and I tried to charm my way through most of them as I really have no sales experience whatsoever. Things were going well! Ed was laughing, I felt relaxed. It didn't seem to matter that I had no sales experience...it seemed like my personality was totally winning me this job--yes! But then it all turned around. Ed pushed aside all the papers with the questions and leaned forward. He looked straight and deep into my eyes: "Why do you wanna do this job?" I tried to keep my charm on and said something about, "opportunity...my skills..develop...challenge..yadadada" He put his hand out, like, enough. "What do YOU want? Why would you wanna do this job?" I realized I couldn't charm my way through with classic interviewee answers. He was speaking like he was my best friend, asking me why I wanted to date a guy who seemed cute but was known to be a slimy jerk.

I felt completely on the spot. I was shocked-- the interviewer leaning forward like the puppy waiting for a treat. Only Ed wasn't like a puppy. He was like one of those guys you can call "a really cool cat." All of a sudden, he was a guy I felt like I wanted to sit in a bar with and listen to jazz. I could see that he was a real guy, not a sales manager. A man, not the man, you know? I had nothing to do or say. I didn't know if I had a crush on this guy or if I was offended or if he was my guardian angel or something. Like Dudley in The Bishop's Wife.

Then Ed starting talking. He used to be an Improviser. That's why he moved to Chicago. He was on the second city tour for a while with an improviser who then went on to be on SNL and have a successful career as a comedian. But rather than stay on that road, Ed decided to use his time differently. Why? The answer was simple : nice shoes. And right there in that conference hall at 10:30 am on a Thursday, Ed explained to me the crossroads of his life. He had the choice to take a promotion in Sales or go back on tour with Second City and he decided he wanted to be able to afford nice shoes. I totally understood. You need to be a grownup and have some nice things! Go to the dentist. Pay some bills. Have some assets.

Ed took that promotion and hasnt done any improvising since. But maybe I can make it work! Maybe I can keep the art alive and do make the money! And if I'm working for this guy, it can't be that bad, right? Ed went ahead and made me an offer. Strangest job offer I've ever and may ever receive: "Yeah, man. Do I think you could do this job? Sure. It's carrying around a clipboard, going to meetings. It's talking to people. Do I think you'd like it? No, probably not! But it's up to you."

As he walked me to the door and joked, "You gotta decide. Do you want nice shoes?"

Comedy of Mixed up Twins.

2009-10-07T13:53:00.005-05:00

I am playing the Courtesan in a production of Comedy or Errors at Chase Park Theatre in Chicago.

It should be an evening of side-splitting fun. Because, after all, what's funnier than mixed-up twins? Oh Shakespeare, you old so and so you.

La Fleur

2009-08-19T16:31:00.009-05:00

This is the story of how I came to give a flower to Zach Condon of Beirut.

We were all excited to see them. I said an off hand comment like, "I can't wait to see Beirut. I just want to like, throw flowers at the stage..." A few moments later, we passed a Whole Foods booth that was lined with buckets of long stem purple flowers. I tried to buy one. They weren't for sale. I told the guy I wanted it to give to Zach Condon and he said, "go ahead and just take it." So I did. Everyone thought it would be a fantastic idea for me to write a personal message on one of the leaves. As I began to scribble, "I <3 u," then someone else suggested I sign my name. As I delicately traced all 5 letters of my name on the fragile flower somone else chimed in with the brilliant idea, "you should give him your number!" Wonderful. All this was missing was a "check yes or no." My flower was ready for Zach Condon.

When we finally got there, the stage was already surrounded. Every square inch was someone's steaked out plot of land and I became "that girl" who was butting her way up to the front. In order to save some face I started to explain my mission. Suddenly I went from being "that girl" to being "the girl" giving Zach Condon a flower. Everyone was on board with helping me. The sea began to part.

I went as far as I could go. But still, I was too far away to reach the stage. Two college guys (pictured on the right) came to my aid. "There's only one way," one of them said gravely. "We hoist you up and you throw it onto the stage like a javalin." He felt the weight of the flower to see if it could go the distance. "Oh yeah, this will fly." So I was hoisted up. And the crowd cheered. I told them all my plan. And they began to chant, "Do it, do it..." until I did. And it landed beautifully draped over a speaker at the foot of the stage until midway through the concert, thanks to my friends in the front, Zach Condon picked it up announcing, "la fleur!"

I won't lie and say I didn't secretly wait for him to call. Until I found a video of the event on Youtube and noticed that he rips away a leaf from the flower because its in his face. That was the leaf with my note. He may never know my adventure to get him la fleur. But I do. Some may say that I am "that girl," who threw a flower on stage at a concert... but I say I am "the girl," who gave a small gift to Zach Condon one day. :)

Who SAYS SH*$@ Like THAT?!

2009-07-08T01:36:00.004-05:00

This is my newest idea for a book.

Kim, Kristin and I came up with it one summer morning while sharing tales of boys who have said some unbelievable SH*$@ to us.

It's going to be a coffee table book.

It's going to be kind of like He's Just Not That Into You only focused on the woman. Forget trying to decode his signals to figure out how he feels about you...decide about him first. It shall be a book of empowerment. Yes, empowerment. "He said what? What does that mean about him? Who cares! We feel-- Who Says Sh*$@ Like That?!' Boot him!"

Anyone have anyway of making this plan come into fruition?

Honestly...

2009-07-06T23:43:00.005-05:00

Running makes me honest.

As an actor I do a lot of faking. I suppose faking sounds negative. Okay, imagining-- whatever. I pretend like I can do things. For instance, working at good ol' Navy Pier-- all I do is pretend. I pretend like I am fishing; I pretend like the rubber crocodile is telling me secrets; I pretend like I am searching for buried treasure in the ground. I am by no means actually doing these things. And its a good thing-- because then I'd just be a crazy lady in a pirate outfit. It's a fine line. I walk it daily. Don't get me wrong-- I love to pretend! As a child my mom worried I pretended too much. And now that I am doing it for a living.....well, she's still worried. But at least I'm consistent!

So I couldn't help but note how refreshing it was to feel this wave of real the other day on a run. I was in the three- quarters-of-the-way-done section of a run with my dad. You know this section. It's where you have gone far enough that you feel totally hopelessly exhausted but there is enough run left that you feel entirely overwhelmed and sure you'll pass out or throw up. Or both. When I hit this section I thought to myself, I just want to fake it. I want everyone to think I've been running. But I don't want to have to torture myself and keep going. I mumbled a pathetic breathless, "I don't think I can finish," to Dad. He just said, "Yes you can. And then think, you can say, 'I ran 5 miles today.' "

And so I found it in my brain to tell my body to keep moving...because if I wasn't actively reminding it, I'm pretty sure it would have just collapsed right there on the Prairie Path.

Running= Honesty.

2009-05-25T20:06:00.004-05:00

The Casey Family Band playing the music at Meg Lindsay's wedding.

Even in the Darkness by Rue Royale. This is them singing it. http://www.myspace.com/rueroyale

Life Lessons

2009-05-25T15:17:00.010-05:00

This is a list of things I would find myself saying to the kids when I worked at Lincoln Park Preschool. Funny, I'd say a lot of these things and then think after, "yeah, I should try that." 20 rules to live by, whether you're 2-4 or 24.

1. Always wash your hands after you go potty and before you eat.
2. If you make a mess, clean it up. No big deal!
3. If someone has upset you, try and use your words and tell them how you feel. Don't hit.
4. If you decide to color on the floor at naptime, refrain from writing your own name.
5. When you miss someone, write them a letter.
6. When you're talking to the group, use your big voice.
7. Everyone's family is different. Nobody's is better.
8. Compliment your friends when they do something awesome...give them a hug when they're having a hard time.
9. Sometimes it's good to take a break and be alone for a few.
10. If you've never done something before-- that's ok! Give it a go.
11. It's okay to feel sad sometimes.
12. If you don't get what you want just say, "Oh well, maybe next time!"
13. Always tell the truth. It's worse to lie and not get into trouble then to tell the truth and get in trouble.
14. If you don't feel good, say something. Otherwise no one will ever know.
15. Always keep your body safe.
16. If you're feeling crabby, please do everyone a favor and throw your crabbies out the window or go away.
17. If you're cold, just start playing. You'll forget about it.
18. If you don't have to go to the bathroom now, just try.
19. Give hugs and kisses and snuggles to everyone in your life-- they love you!
20. Grab a bubble. Put it in your mouth. Turn up your listening ears and get ready to learn.

concert experiment. concperiment.

2009-05-01T10:19:00.003-05:00

My money largely goes a few places. Clothes, coffee and concerts. My deadly money-sucking 3 C's. I've been doing better lately with my spending on the 3 C's. I have limited myself on clothes purchases: I was in Italy for 7 days and all I bought was I rain coat (I acutally need) for 29 euro. I have cut down on my starbucks purchases: I make coffee at home now (most of the time.) But concerts?! Concerts are hard to give up. Missing a concert just means your missing out. It's not like resisiting the urge to buy a dress from Urban for $39.99. It's not like drinking drip coffee at home instead enjoying a foamy latte. It's missing an experience. I most likely won't want to tell me children how great my skim latte was on this one particular day. But I WILL want to tell them about the time I saw Bob Dylan at Bethel Woods or the time I saw Regina Spektor and she was baffled that everyone knew the lyrics to her songs and proclaimed with astonishment, "I'm so huge!" or the time I saw M.I.A. at Coney Island in 90+ degree heat and people were climbing barbed wire fences just to get a better view or the time I saw Andrew Bird play a secret show at The Hideout and then I got to play a dancing tree in his music video. These are the things I will want to tell my children about. These are the things I want to tell YOU about. These are the things that cause me to be poor, poor. :(

So anyway, here is a list of the concerts in Chicago I want to attend. I want to make it my goal to see these concerts for free/for very little money. This may be a futile effort. But one's reach must exceed...oh, you know.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs...5/26 Riviera Theatre
Camera Obscura...5/29 Metro
Jenny Lewis...6/5 Park West
St. Vincent...6/7 Epiphany
Au Revoir Simone...6/25 Logan Square Auditorium
Rothbury Music Festival..7/3-5 Rothbury, Michigan
Pitchfork Music Festival...7/17-19 Union Park
Lollapolooza...8/7-9 Grant Park

I will work on it and blog the results. Let me know if you have any ideas!

Decant me.

2009-05-01T09:32:00.004-05:00

Last night I went for some chatting and wine drinking at my friend Nancy's. It proved to be a 100% enjoyable experience. Why was it such a good night? you ask. Why blog about something so typical. Well, for one, they live in a perfect loft with a postcard view of the city. Second we ate indian food. Third had a great convo. But as great as all of this was-- it's not the reason for my writing. It was the 8 dollar bottle of wine. That's right, the 8 dollar bottle of wine. Nanc poured me a sip out of the bottle and it was...ok. (It was your typical 8 dollar bottle of wine. ) But then she "decanted it," pouring it into what just looks like a large glass vase. When poured in the decanter even for a second, the wine has a chance to breathe properly...giving it the smoothest taste and allowing you to drink it like water-- which can be dangerous but delicious. The decanter made that 8 dollar bottle of wine taste like something fancy. Thanks Nancy. For bein so fancy.

How it Works in Roma

2009-04-25T06:34:00.002-05:00

It's a hard life when one's friend gets married in Italy.

One must be prepared to:

take time off*fly to Europe*stay in Rome for a few days*laugh a lot with a best friend*go see all the sights ala Audrey Hepburn Roman Holiday*laugh a lot with a best friend*stay in an amazing hotel outside the city*take a shuttle into the city every morning with a driver named Angelo*drink champagne at lunch*take a scenic train ride an hour north to Orvieto*sit across from a mean nun*stay in a quaint B&B*get dressed up every night and drink lots of wine*laugh a lot with some best friends*run into Noah Wiley and his family on vacation*take cat naps*did I say laughing?* try to speak Italian*give up and decide to just speak English with a faux Italian accent*eat gellato*laugh some more*fly home*watch Marley and Me on the Plane*cry*laugh.

*photo by Connie Miller*

ITalia

2009-04-15T07:57:00.000-05:00

I am going to Rome today. With a book of italian phrases, a little cash and a suitcase of clothes. Hurray!! :

A postcard.

Me and Mates of State were totally on a Date.

2009-04-14T09:53:00.000-05:00

Saturday night was my second one-on-one date with the Black Kids and Mates of State. Well I guess it's on-on-two. Well it's literally one-on-seven. The first time I saw them was in NYC at Joe's Pub in 2007. That time, I just randomly decided to go alone-- which can be an intimidating prospect, especially as a woman. You go to a concert alone and immediately weird dudes are talking to you and you're faking that you're engaged or deaf or just a total bitch. But I went ahead and took the risk, ready to act like one or all of the above.

When I got there it was sold out but, feeling lucky, I waited in line anyway. A Brit guy behind me, Glenn, had decided to do the same. At first I pulled the "I'm a total bitch" shtick, but after an hour waiting in line I realized he was totally harmless. Bummer of bummers, when the doors opened, there were no tickets. But lo and behold, the show was 21 and up and a couple of 18 year olds were denied entrance. They were devastated of course. But I asked them if I could buy their tickets off of them. Bad form?? Maybe. But I did offer them more than face value for their tickets. Just to be less of an asshole. So harmless Brit Glenn and I got in.

Since this night I've learned that sometimes the best things happen when you go places by yourself. I had never heard of Black Kids. During the opening, opening band a cute and charismatic kid with a fro sat beside me. We started chit-chatting and it came up that he was in the opening band that was to play next. "What are you called?" I asked. "Black kids." He said. "Back Skids?!" It was noisy in there. "No. BLACK! KIDS!" "Oh!!" I felt a little uncomfortable for a moment....thinking...should i say African American Kids?? They took the stage and it was awesome. It felt like a younger hipper version of The Cure. Afterwards I was in the restroom and the male bass player accidentally walked in. Washing my hands I said, "Hey, really nice set." He said, "Is this the girls bathroom?" I nodded. He awkwardly left.

Mates of State played an amazing show. It was the first time I had ever seen them and I was blown away by how two people could create so much energy and sound. Plus, I was also totally in love with the fact that they are married and have babies. You can tell. Knowing glances are definitely exchanged. I am a sucker for love, babies and music. Not necessarily in that order.

They did an encore was a cover of "These Days" by Nico Case. It was beautiful. Afterward the show was over and everyone was dispersing; Glenn and I decided to hang around for one more drink. On our way out we ran into Kori and Jason standing with a few folks outside. Humble folks that they are, they stood and chatted with us for a bit. I told them that I thought it was inspiring that they were doing the parent thing and the music thing simultaneously. They laughingly said thank you. I am sure they hear that all the time. And I'm sure it doesn't always feel inspiring for them. But it was awesome for me to get the chance to say that. To their faces.

So last Saturday when my sister (who was supposed to be my date) found herself stuck in the suburbs and unable to make it to the Metro, I was was super disappointed at first-- but then I remembered my nyc night in 07 and decided I'm due for another one-on-one (two) date with Mates of State anyway. The show topped the super exciting show of 2007...Black Kids and Mates of State are like yin and yang. During both sets there were dance moves, tons of singing along and even confetti. A very satisfying experience.

The Metro had a time cap on the show. So they cut the encore. But Jason and Kori made sure we were not cheated. a made sure we were not cheated. As swarms of audience came down the stairs to the left, the two of them and a bassist, percussionist and trombone player came down the stairs to the right and played an unplugged version of "Long Way Home" by Tom Waits. I was about one or 2 feet away from Kori and Jason, singing every word (which earned me one of those knowing glances!)

After two dates and a lot of listening on my end, I have to say... Mates of State-- I Like U Crazy.

A Lincoln Park Preschool Exit.

2009-04-08T00:16:00.000-05:00

My preschool teaching days are done! At least for now. It's hard to believe, but its true. I fufilled my year long contract at Lincoln Park Preschool and in order to stay, I would have had to commit to a whole nother year. And I'm too antsy for that. Though looking at my pics of these kiddies I am wishing I could momentarily take those ants out of my pants and stay put for a while!

It was a special year. I learned a lot. I learned to wake up and go to work every morning like a normal person. Turns out, it's really a good habit to get into. But mainly, I learned how to love kids more. Remember being a kid? And the crazy thoughts that went through your brain? The fears? Hopes? Insecurities? To come along side kids for that and be supportive is just...well, I don't know...it's awesome. I miss them already, but I had to follow my gut on this one. And I'll never ever forget them. There is now a little LPP shaped space in my heart

.

TOASTEST for the MOSTEST

2009-04-08T00:04:00.000-05:00

At TOAST on Webster with Kate. The Pancake Orgie is soooo good! Also, note to self: alway go to brunch with someone who is willing to split halvsies on sweet/savory dishes.

Second Time's a Charm?

2009-04-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

NOTE: So I've tried blogging before. And failed. Miserably. Here I am for the second time. Hopefully I will redeem myself and neglected blog.

I find myself in an enjoyable season of life. Huh. Straaaange. How did I get here? Is it real? Is it all a trick? Or a dream? pinch, pinch. wake up emily! Rubbing my eyes and looking around I realize, nope! It's real!

I currently have the great fortune to work (mostly) full time as an actress. What/Who am I acting like? Mother Goose's own Little Bo Peep. Yes, Little Bo Peep. A gig's a gig, right? But really, this gig is not a bad one. It pays well (relatively speaking) and it's fun (relatively speaking too I suppose.) Also I feel as though this job gives me the chance to make a positive affect on kids from all different backgrounds-- who couldn't get behind that idea? Besides Hitler people...

Navy Pier hires actors each season to be "walk around" characters. However, the Pier's creative team (who I adore!) has worked hard to get us away from simply meeting and greeting. Instead, we create an imaginary world for families to stumble upon. This world contains fully developed characters who have relationships to one another and the world around them. The work is largely improvisational, which was intimidating to me at first. Ok, honesty: it's intimidating to me every day. But I've learned tricks to cope. Just call me Lassy. Or Totto. Okay, I prefer Lassy.

Is it like being Cinderella at Disney? Besides the creative aspect, something that sets this gig apart from Disney World or conventional Children's Theatre is accesability. Since all these events are free of charge, we see all different sorts of people. Lots of different languages, various backgrounds and religions, the handicapped, Boy and Girls Clubs, school groups, tourists, suburbanites (which I fully admit to being deep down,) -- basically anyone who would have interest in visiting Navy Pier-- which is rich and poor alike. I love this. This may be some kids' only encounter with live theater. I think that's another reason life feels generally good right now. I can find satisfaction in the work I'm doing. That is a gift. I shall eat it up as long as it sits here in my face. Pure gluteny.

So that is essentially what I am doing with my life. It's nice. But I feel the need to figure things out for the future coming on....quick, end the blog before it gets dark.

THE END.