Choices x Time= LIFE

I am currently...between jobs. As an actress I feel like all I ever am is between jobs. But right now I really don't have a steady income from anywhere. For real unemployed.

Maybe it's the recession, maybe its that I'm getting older, maybe it's a combo of the two, but I'm beginning to feel a strong need to have some kind of stable "9-5." I need to be a grown up and have some nice things! I need to go the dentist. I need to pay some bills. I need to not be worried at the end of every month. I need a savings account. I need some assets. Things that all seemed over rated at 22 seem necessary at 25.

So I've been applying for some 9-5s. Lots of companies are hiring in Sales right now...probably because they're trying to help their sales from continuing to plummet.
I had one interview last week for such sales job. But it felt a little more like a divine appointment.

I was interviewed by Ed. This was a group interview. We received a powerpoint presentation on the job and then were sent to the lobby to be called in one by one and assigned to one of the ten managers present to interview with. The interviewer sits on one side of the table. The interviewee on the other. Walking through the room everyone looked stiff. The interviewers peering skeptically down at resumes, the interviewees sitting on the edge of their chairs looking like a puppy on their hind legs for a dog treat. Must I take this position as the interview right now? Ug.

And I just happened (or not just happened...after all, there are no coincidences, right?) to be assigned to Ed. I tried to remain back in my seat and relaxed as Ed peered down at my resume and asked me bullet point by bullet point all the required interview questions, "What are your strengths? What was a time you closed a tough sale? Where do you see yourself in five years?" etc, etc...and I tried to charm my way through most of them as I really have no sales experience whatsoever. Things were going well! Ed was laughing, I felt relaxed. It didn't seem to matter that I had no sales experience...it seemed like my personality was totally winning me this job--yes! But then it all turned around. Ed pushed aside all the papers with the questions and leaned forward. He looked straight and deep into my eyes: "Why do you wanna do this job?" I tried to keep my charm on and said something about, "opportunity...my skills..develop...challenge..yadadada" He put his hand out, like, enough. "What do YOU want? Why would you wanna do this job?" I realized I couldn't charm my way through with classic interviewee answers. He was speaking like he was my best friend, asking me why I wanted to date a guy who seemed cute but was known to be a slimy jerk.

I felt completely on the spot. I was shocked-- the interviewer leaning forward like the puppy waiting for a treat. Only Ed wasn't like a puppy. He was like one of those guys you can call "a really cool cat." All of a sudden, he was a guy I felt like I wanted to sit in a bar with and listen to jazz. I could see that he was a real guy, not a sales manager. A man, not the man, you know? I had nothing to do or say. I didn't know if I had a crush on this guy or if I was offended or if he was my guardian angel or something. Like Dudley in The Bishop's Wife.

Then Ed starting talking. He used to be an Improviser. That's why he moved to Chicago. He was on the second city tour for a while with an improviser who then went on to be on SNL and have a successful career as a comedian. But rather than stay on that road, Ed decided to use his time differently. Why? The answer was simple : nice shoes. And right there in that conference hall at 10:30 am on a Thursday, Ed explained to me the crossroads of his life. He had the choice to take a promotion in Sales or go back on tour with Second City and he decided he wanted to be able to afford nice shoes. I totally understood. You need to be a grownup and have some nice things! Go to the dentist. Pay some bills. Have some assets.

Ed took that promotion and hasnt done any improvising since. But maybe I can make it work! Maybe I can keep the art alive and do make the money! And if I'm working for this guy, it can't be that bad, right? Ed went ahead and made me an offer. Strangest job offer I've ever and may ever receive: "Yeah, man. Do I think you could do this job? Sure. It's carrying around a clipboard, going to meetings. It's talking to people. Do I think you'd like it? No, probably not! But it's up to you."

As he walked me to the door and joked, "You gotta decide. Do you want nice shoes?"

Comedy of Mixed up Twins.

I am playing the Courtesan in a production of Comedy or Errors at Chase Park Theatre in Chicago.

It should be an evening of side-splitting fun. Because, after all, what's funnier than mixed-up twins? Oh Shakespeare, you old so and so you.

La Fleur

This is the story of how I came to give a flower to Zach Condon of Beirut.

We were all excited to see them. I said an off hand comment like, "I can't wait to see Beirut. I just want to like, throw flowers at the stage..." A few moments later, we passed a Whole Foods booth that was lined with buckets of long stem purple flowers. I tried to buy one. They weren't for sale. I told the guy I wanted it to give to Zach Condon and he said, "go ahead and just take it." So I did. Everyone thought it would be a fantastic idea for me to write a personal message on one of the leaves. As I began to scribble, "I <3 u," then someone else suggested I sign my name. As I delicately traced all 5 letters of my name on the fragile flower somone else chimed in with the brilliant idea, "you should give him your number!" Wonderful. All this was missing was a "check yes or no." My flower was ready for Zach Condon.

When we finally got there, the stage was already surrounded. Every square inch was someone's steaked out plot of land and I became "that girl" who was butting her way up to the front. In order to save some face I started to explain my mission. Suddenly I went from being "that girl" to being "the girl" giving Zach Condon a flower. Everyone was on board with helping me. The sea began to part.

I went as far as I could go. But still, I was too far away to reach the stage. Two college guys (pictured on the right) came to my aid. "There's only one way," one of them said gravely. "We hoist you up and you throw it onto the stage like a javalin." He felt the weight of the flower to see if it could go the distance. "Oh yeah, this will fly." So I was hoisted up. And the crowd cheered. I told them all my plan. And they began to chant, "Do it, do it..." until I did. And it landed beautifully draped over a speaker at the foot of the stage until midway through the concert, thanks to my friends in the front, Zach Condon picked it up announcing, "la fleur!"

I won't lie and say I didn't secretly wait for him to call. Until I found a video of the event on Youtube and noticed that he rips away a leaf from the flower because its in his face. That was the leaf with my note. He may never know my adventure to get him la fleur. But I do. Some may say that I am "that girl," who threw a flower on stage at a concert... but I say I am "the girl," who gave a small gift to Zach Condon one day. :)

Who SAYS SH*$@ Like THAT?!

This is my newest idea for a book.

Kim, Kristin and I came up with it one summer morning while sharing tales of boys who have said some unbelievable SH*$@ to us.

It's going to be a coffee table book.

It's going to be kind of like He's Just Not That Into You only focused on the woman. Forget trying to decode his signals to figure out how he feels about you...decide about him first. It shall be a book of empowerment. Yes, empowerment. "He said what? What does that mean about him? Who cares! We feel-- Who Says Sh*$@ Like That?!' Boot him!"

Anyone have anyway of making this plan come into fruition?